Can We Talk About Our Phones for a Moment?

Can I be honest?

Most of us use our phones more than we want to. And not in a dramatic way. It’s not usually hours of scrolling in one go. It’s the little moments. Picking it up while the kettle boils. Checking it without meaning to. Opening it and not even being sure why.

And then one day you notice you feel a bit scattered. Like your day never fully settles. Tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix.

If this is you, I just want to say this first: this isn’t a discipline problem. It’s not because you’re weak or unmotivated or lacking willpower. Phones are designed to slide into the smallest gaps in our day, and they’re very good at it. But our bodies are not designed for that kind of constant interruption.

In The Rhythm of Health, I talk a lot about returning to natural timing. About light and dark, movement and rest, eating and sleeping in a way that makes sense to the body again. What often gets overlooked is how much our phones interfere with those rhythms, quietly, constantly, without us even realising it. Not because they’re bad. Just because they’re always there.

Why your body feels it

Every time you check your phone, your attention shifts. Your nervous system perks up slightly. Your brain gets a small hit of stimulation. None of this is dramatic on its own. But when it happens dozens or hundreds of times a day, your system never fully settles.

This matters more than people realise. Your body relies on clear signals. Morning feels different from evening. Activity feels different from rest. Pauses matter. But when the phone fills every pause, the body never quite gets the message that it’s allowed to downshift. That’s why people often say they’re “tired but wired,” or that they rest but don’t feel restored.

This isn’t about getting rid of your phone

Phones are part of modern life. They’re useful. They connect us. They help us work and stay in touch with the people we love. What helps is changing the relationship.

Instead of asking, “How do I stop using my phone so much?” it can be gentler to ask, “How do I make my day feel like mine again?”

Often the answer is surprisingly simple.

One small shift that makes a big difference is giving your phone a place to live when you’re at home. Not next to you on the couch. Not within arm’s reach all the time. Just a little distance. Another room. A shelf. A bench. Somewhere you have to choose to go to it, instead of reaching without thinking. It's surprising how much calm this one shift can bring.

Another helpful change is making your phone slightly less inviting. Not in a harsh way. Just enough that using it becomes a conscious decision instead of a reflex. Fewer notifications. Less visual clutter. Fewer things demanding your attention the moment you unlock it. 

Often, it helps to give your body something else to do. Something simple. Something grounding. For some people that’s keeping a notebook nearby to catch the thoughts that usually send them scrolling. Sometimes it’s standing up and stretching, or moving the body for a minute to ease the restlessness. The specific thing doesn’t matter much. What matters is that your body finds a new way to move through those small pauses without automatically reaching for stimulation.

Since most of us can’t get rid of our phones entirely, it can help to give them clear windows of use instead. This might look like using your phone freely for work during the day, then letting it rest in its place in the evening. Allowing calls and messages, but quietening everything else. Not cutting anything out completely, just giving your system regular breaks.

You don’t need to do everything at once. One small adjustment is enough.

Let boredom come back

This part can feel uncomfortable at first. When you don’t reach for your phone, you notice the space. The boredom. But boredom isn’t a problem to be fixed. It’s a signal that your brain is allowed to rest.

This is where rhythm quietly starts to repair itself. You might notice you breathe a bit deeper. That you sit still instead of fidgeting. That your thoughts slow down. They’re signs your body is finding its way back to balance.

The way forward

 

Reducing phone use doesn’t have to be another thing you’re “working on.” It can be a way of saying, “I want my day to feel steadier. I want my body to know when it’s time to be on, and when it’s allowed to rest.” That’s what rhythm really is. Not rules. Not perfection. Just giving your body clear signals again.

If you notice yourself reaching for your phone and feel frustrated, try not to judge it. Just notice. Gently place it down. That moment of awareness is already a return. Over time, those small, quiet choices add up. And your body will thank you.

I explore this idea of rhythm and restoring balance more fully in my book, The Rhythm of Health.